


Bullet Through A Flock Of Doves

by Raven_River



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: F/M, M/M, Okay I lied im not finishing this, but hey read it anyway cos Danni is great, plus I hint at Frerard so it's got that going for it too, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-04-08 11:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 17,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4303545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_River/pseuds/Raven_River
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank meets Danni, a 19 year old Irish fan, while on tour and through a series of (unfortunate) events they end up close. VERY close...</p><p>Discontinued as of 22nd of January 2017</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'd Like To Learn Your Name

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the start of my story, I will finish it; I don't know when but I'm chipping away, one sentence at a time.  
> I don't know what to call the main character. Her name has changed at least fifty times (and I am not exaggerating) but none of them seem right, so any ideas would be appreciated! She is currently Danielle, more commonly known as Danni though.  
> Just a warning that this contains strong language but if you're here then you probably don't mind, I thought I should add it just in case though.

She was about eighteen or nineteen and I’m not sure what made her stand out. She had shoulder length black hair with a light blue streak over one eye. She caught my eye and smiled at me. Despite the fact that we were in the middle of a song, I smiled back. After the show I wanted to go and talk to her but from previous experience I know that entering the crowd was not a good idea so I asked one of the crew to go and bring her backstage.  
“Can you ask that girl to come backstage please,” I asked, pointing.  
“Which one?” Chris asked.  
“The one wearing the Saw Doctors t-shirt.” 

I paced the room as I waited for them to return. When Chris came in with her I nearly cried out in relief, he’d brought the right girl. To be honest I don’t think there were many Saw Doctors fans in the crowd but still. She smiled at me but seemed a bit, well, nervous. Not that I blame her – I was nervous too, and she’s not the famous one!  
“Hi,” I started, “I’m Frank.” She grinned then.  
“I know, I’ve had a crush on you since I was fourteen and I’m at one of your shows. I don’t think I could really not-know who you are, Frank. Or should I call you Mr Iero?”  
“Frank is fine,” I choked out.  
“Okay then, Frank. I’m Danni,” she smiled. Danni. It suited her. “Why did you want me to come backstage? Surely it wasn’t just to introduce yourself, was it?”  
“No,” I rushed to say, “I wanted to meet you but going into the crowd wasn’t a good idea, so…” Luckily she caught on. “I see. Any particular reason you wanted to meet me?”  
“Yes. You looked interesting.” To my embarrassment, she blushed making her even more attractive. To stop myself blushing I hurried on, “Not many people wear a Saw Doctors t-shirt to one of our shows. It’s a first.”  
“And one always remembers their firsts,” Danni agreed, tucking her hair behind her ear. As she lifted her arm I caught sight of ink on the inside of her wrist.  
“Can I see?” I asked, gesturing towards her arm. Tattoos always interest, me for obvious reasons. Danni smiled and shyly extended her right arm for me to see. She had “Alive and Unafraid” in purple cursive on the inside of her wrist.  
“I always loved Famous Last Words but I wanted to make it my own and when I made it to eighteen, I decided that this was perfect because I was alive and there was nothing that life could throw at me that I can’t face,” Danni explained.  
I nodded, barely listening to the words, it was as if her voice had hypnotised me. Suddenly something interrupted my pleasure. Or rather someone. It was Bob getting his revenge for all the times I’ve leapt on him, by nearly squashing me. Sometimes being the smallest is a real nuisance.  
“Frank?” Bob waved his hand in front of my face, “Frank? Are you going to introduce us to your friend or not?” I shook my head violently. “Don’t feel offended,” Bob told Danni, “He doesn’t mean it personally.”  
“I wasn’t answering your question, Bob, I was clearing my head!” I said, heatedly, then turned to Bob exaggeratedly, and pointedly said “Bob, this is Danni. Danni, this is Bob.”  
Danni smiled. “Hi, Bob.” She turned to the other side of me and said to the person who had just appeared there, unbeknown to me, “And hi, Mikey.”  
Mikey inclined his head. “Can I have a word with you, Frank?” he asked, tersely. I nodded and followed him over to a more secluded corner of the darkened room, where he turned to face me.  
“Frank, are you and Gerard serious is it just a stage thing?” I stared at him with my mouth open until Mikey started talking again, hoping to redeem himself. “I mean, you and Gee are all over each other in the shows and now you bring this girl backstage, and....” I let him blabber on for a few more minutes before interrupting.  
“Mikey.” He stopped talking, took a breath and looked at me. “I don’t know. Gerard is one of my best friends and Danni, I just met her. Let me spend more than five minutes with her before deciding how I feel about her, okay?” I patted his shoulder and went back over to where Bob was still terrorising Danni.

Danni was laughing at Bob’s antics and for a moment I felt an inexplicable flash of jealousy. It wasn’t Bob’s fault he was so much more likeable than me. I mean, he didn’t have a anger problem or people making fun of his height or hair style or tattoos. Just because I want to try new things! I swallowed my jealously and came up behind Danni, gently placing my hand on the small of her back.  
“Sorry to break you up, but I wondered if you wanted to go for a drink?” I asked Danni.  
“I’d love to!” replied Bob. I rolled my eyes and look back at Danni. She smiled and repeated what Bob had just said.  
“I’d love to!”

Later that evening I offered to drive Danni home as she had taken the bus to the concert and she’d missed the last one home. Danni slipped a little as she got out of Chris’ car (he lived nearby and I’d persuaded him to lend it to me) and I went round to help her. Slightly tipsy, Danni giggled and leant against me. I put my arm around her and supported her up to her front door where she proceeded to fumble with the door key.  
“Shall I help you?” I asked.  
“Yesss thanksss,” she slurred. I opened the door without any trouble and Danni stumbled over the threshold, through the nearest door and collapsed on the couch, fast asleep. I went back out to the car and then realised two things. (1) That it was 3am and (2) I had no idea where I was and Danni obviously wouldn’t be helping me anytime soon. Sighing, I locked the car and went back into Danni’s house. Locking the door behind me I entered the living room, from where light snoring could be heard. I slumped into the armchair and fell asleep within seconds.


	2. The World Goes To Shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently playing swingball in the pouring rain (hello?? It's July, it's supposed to be sunny, not lashing rain all day long. And the rain wasn't even warm) is great for brainstorming. I had loads of great ideas today and hopefully will have the next chapter up soon!

I awoke the next morning to the smell of coffee. I groaned and rolled over, and said as I did so, “Gee, please stop making coffee this early. Some of us need our beauty sleep y’know.”  
Well, I started to, but due to the fact I hit the floor on ‘coffee’ I didn’t get to finish my sentence. I opened my eyes then and took in the completely alien living room in which I was seated. I had no recollection of last night until someone came through the door. Danni, my brain supplied helpfully, and everything came back. The show, the night out, the jealousy, getting drunk, ending up at Danni’s house.  
“Are you okay?” Danni asked concern on her face.  
“Yeah,” I groaned, pulling myself up, “what time is it?”  
“Uh, 11:48,” replied Danni, checking her watch.  
“Shit! I’m late!” I cried, jumping up. “We were leaving at 9! They’ll be ready to kill me!”  
“Hey, don’t worry,” smiled Danni, “They called your phone and I answered and explained. They agreed to meet you there.”  
“But you can’t drive me all that way,” I protested, “it’ll take forever!”  
“Ah, it doesn’t matter,” objected Danni. “I have nothing else to do today and anyway, it’s my fault. If I hadn’t passed out on you then you would have gone back to the tour bus and not been late. Also, Chris came over and collected his car.”  
“I asked you out for a drink,” I pointed out. “Therefore it’s my fault.” At this Danni started laughing.  
“We sound like my old next door neighbours!” she spluttered. I couldn’t help it; I starting laughing too. Before I knew it we were clinging onto one another to stay upright. Just as suddenly as Danni had started laughing; she stopped.  
“What’s so funny?” she asked.  
“I don’t know,” I smirked. Danni shook her head at me in good humour.

Half an hour later we were on the road. Danni had packed a small overnight bag as she said she’d spend the night there and drive home tomorrow. The trip was way better than on the bus. Danni and I talked and talked and when we got bored we blasted some music (some of our albums, The Saw Doctors, Bon Jovi, Billy Joel, Green Day, Meat Loaf, Guns ‘n’ Roses and some ‘80s movie shit that Danni loved….) She had a great selection of CDs and introduced me to some new stuff that I wouldn’t usually listen to but somehow in Danni’s car was the best music I’d ever heard. Then when we got bored of the music we talked some more. We learnt so much about each other; I told her nearly everything about myself.  
We had so much in common but at the same time so much was different. We both liked Bon Jovi and were lactose intolerant (well Danni was allergic to dairy and had been her whole life but y’know). We spent a long time discussing that, like how annoying it was to go somewhere and have to pass on really lovely looking food because it contained dairy. Or if someone offered you something and you said no because you couldn’t eat it and they said “oh go on” and you had to refuse again. Then they thought you were rude but you weren’t. You felt like shouting “I can’t eat it, okay? Stop offering it to me!” but instead you just gritted your teeth, smiled and said “No, it’s alright, you have it.”  
I’d never done that well in school but Danni was the top of her class. I was picked on for liking the things I did which then usually resulted in fights but Danni just blended into the background and kept her mouth shut. I’d always loved music and instruments but Danni was appalling.  
“We had music lessons in primary school for about six years. It was about an hour a week, I think. The only thing I brought out of it was two tin whistles and the knowledge of how to play ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ on them,” she’d laughed. “We had percussion and guitar lessons a few times but after an unfortunate incident between the hoover and my guitar, I decided that the guitar wasn’t for me. It’s a pity because I would love to play, but I’m awful at it.”

It was roughly four when we stopped for something to eat. We were about fifteen minutes away from our destination. It was after that that things started to go downhill. First Danni and I got into a disagreement in the café, she insisted she pay for her food and I insisted I pay for her. It was the waitress who solved the problem in the end.  
“How about you each pay half for your meal, dearie?” she had said to Danni. We both reluctantly agreed, unwilling to stand down.  
Next I left my phone at the table and had to leg it back to get it. Then Danni couldn’t find the car keys and we spent five minutes trying to find them. We emptied our pockets, Danni emptied her bag and eventually it turned out that for some stupid reason Danni had attached them to her belt loops. The fourth problem was the worst; Danni’s car wouldn’t start. We did everything and by five we decided that we should probably call someone. I rang Ray and asked him if he could engineer us a ride. We didn’t have to wait long before someone came for us. It turns out that Chris knows everyone, and had called a mate of his to pick us and Danni’s car up. Chris’ friend said that he could fix Danni’s car free of charge but it would take a week or two for the right parts to come. Danni’s face dropped.  
“I guess I’ll take the train home tomorrow,” she sighed.  
“Why don’t you come on tour with us?” I asked spontaneously. Danni looked shocked.  
“Frank, I’ve known you less than twenty-four hours and you ask me to go on tour with you?” she laughed incredulously. After today I felt like I’d known Danni my whole life but she was right. We’d only known each other twenty-four hours. Maybe going on tour together was too big a step this early in the friendship... “I’d love to!” she grinned, and hugged me.  
I blinked. I wasn’t expecting that. Now I hoped that the others wouldn’t mind sharing…..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I realised he other day that you don't know when this story is set. Well, it's complicated... Basically MCR have released all their songs but it's kinda set in May 2006...
> 
> Frank is 24 Gerard is 29, Ray is 28, Mikey is 25, and Bob is 26. Danni is 19.
> 
> If you want to see pictures of how they look ('cause it's a bit of a muddle of eras) then please visit http://frerardfanficlist.tumblr.com/
> 
>  
> 
> And on another note, I know very, very little about touring etc so I'm making it up and I apologise for any mistakes. Also I am including stuff from all over and messing up time and stuff.


	3. We Are All A Bunch Of Liars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was babysitting this morning and got a load written - I've even started the next chapter (one sentence but yeah). Hope you enjoy it! Actually scrap that, I hope someone reads it!

Gerard was a bit funny about Danni coming on tour and Bob whispered to me that he was jealous. I laughed it off but there may have been a grain of truth in what he said, Gee _had_ been slightly off lately. Ray was confused but didn’t say much about it and Mikey looked a bit suspicious and strangely, insulted. Bob was the only one who seemed to be on my side. He’d liked Danni from the start and they’d gotten on really well last night.

By the time that we’d gotten back to the bus and talked to everyone about Danni staying with us there wasn’t much time left before we had to go onto stage. I invited Danni to come backstage and she saw how hectic it really was. We went onto the stage and I could feel Danni watching me during the set. I was really into it that night; I wanted Danni to see me at my best. Well best at playing, I mean - I don’t think I looked my best as I was sweating like there was no tomorrow. All of a sudden Gerard came over to me (in the middle of a song I may add) and kissed me! It wasn’t any small thing either; he grabbed my hair and shoved his tongue down my throat. I couldn’t help it – I kissed back. I may or may not have wrapped my arm around him too... (hey, it’s not like I could play with Gee pressed against my playing apparatus anyway). **(A/N I borrowed this from a Tumblr user as I thought it was funny)** The crowd went wild! They were screaming our names something that sounded like ‘Frerard’. I’ll have to ask Danni about it later. Then just as suddenly as Gee kissed me, he stopped and carried on singing like nothing had happened. It took me a little longer to compose myself; I think I stood there staring at him for a tiny bit too long. Gerard flashed me a knowing smile and I flushed then started playing again, albeit worse than before.

Danni leapt on me when we finished and came backstage.

“Oh my God, you were amazing!” she squealed throwing her arms around my (very sweaty) neck.

I smiled; I hadn’t seen ‘fangirl’ Danni yet, not even when we first met and it was hilarious. She looked so happy, smiling up at me like that and I don’t know what came over me, but I bent my head and kissed her gently. I could feel Danni smiling under my mouth as she kissed me back.

I don’t know if the gasp was in my imagination or if it was Danni surprised by me kissing her….or if it was someone else…

 

For someone who had kissed me so passionately less than an hour ago, Gerard was being very distant. It was only when I pulled back off Danni and took a breath that I realised just how quiet it had gotten. We all just stood there in silence for about ten seconds – me with my arm around Danni and everyone staring at us before anyone made any noise. Danni chuckled nervously, and I squeezed her gently and gave Gerard sort of apologetic smile. I’m not quite sure what I was apologising for though. People started carrying on with what they had been doing and my face stopped resembling a strawberry.

“Well that was unexpected,” laughed Danni.

“Yeah it was,” I admitted, “I wasn’t planning on kissing you – it just happened.”

“Well stop talking and start helping us move the equipment!” huffed Gerard, marching past.

I shrugged at Danni and we grabbed some stuff to carry out to the bus.

 

Afterwards, we all went out to enjoy the aftermath of our show and _everyone_ was teasing Danni and I about kissing.

I rolled my eyes, “Come on, guys. I didn’t plan to kiss Danni, it didn’t mean anythi-”

I was cut off by Danni leaning over and firmly planting her lips on mine. I don’t know what came over me but I pressed myself into the kiss and brought my hands up to cup Danni’s face. The whole group started cheering and, red-faced, Danni and I separated.

“You were saying, Frank?” said Gerard, icily. I smiled sheepishly.

“Well it’s not like _that_ was my idea, now was it?” I pointed out. Gerard didn’t answer.

“Come on, Danni, let’s dance!” cried Bob, breaking the silence. He jumped up and grabbed Danni’s hand. Laughing, Danni allowed herself to be dragged off.

I turned to Gerard and hissed, “What’s up with you all of a sudden? Can I not make a new friend?”

“Oh yeah, like you ask every ‘new friend’ on tour with us,” sneered Gee.

“Her car’s broken, you know that!” I replied heatedly, clenching my fists to stop myself from doing anything I might regret later such as punching Gerard in the face.

“So that justifies inviting her on tour _without_ asking any of us first?” Gerard retorted. “You’ve only known her twenty-four hours!”

I felt the anger dissipating, Gee had a point. The same point Danni had made when I’d asked her to come on tour. The same point that had been bothering me ever since I’d woken up in her living room.

“I know that, Gee,” I replied quietly, “but I couldn’t just leave her there. She sounded so sad, so lonely and on the journey over we talked and talked. It feels like I’ve known her forever. Danni’s a really nice person, please just give her a chance, Gee.”

We stood there in silence for a few moments then Gerard sighed.

“Fine, Frank, I’ll give her a chance.”

I smiled with relief, “Thanks, Gerard, that means a lot.”

I hugged him and we stood like that for a few minutes, me with my head on his shoulder and our arms loosely around each other. It was less of a hug and more of us telling each other that we were there for them and we always would be. It wasn’t romantic or anything – Gee and I are just friends. As much as I love Gerard, the stuff on stage is just that – stuff on stage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't let this put you off, this IS Frerard, I swear!


	4. There Are So Many Special Things About You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was on holiday for two weeks and I finished chapter four, all of five and I started six but because I didn't bring my laptop I now need to type it all :(

Soon we all got used to Danni and it felt like she’d been on tour with us forever. Danni just fitted somehow. Everyone liked her too, Bob because she played along with his jokes, Mikey and Gerard because she makes a great cup of coffee, Ray because she reads to him whenever he refuses to read the book she’d suggested, everyone else because she was just a generally polite and helpful person and me because, well I’m still not sure why I like her but I do – a lot.

 

“Frank? Frank?”

I shook my head gently and peered up to see Danni waving her hand in front of my face and looking worried.

“Are you okay, Frank? You zoned out there for a few minutes, I was getting worried.”

Danni ended on a chuckle but it sounded forced and strange. Before I could reply, Danni fell onto me with an ‘oof’. She narrowly missed head-butting me in the face, instead hitting me in the chest in an attempt to stop herself falling. In the process she stood on my feet and shoved my chair backwards causing me to wallop my head off the wall behind. I put my arms out to catch her and somehow she ended up sitting on my lap. Laughter from the band and crew was easily audible. There was barely any room between our faces and I could see her getting steadily redder.

“Hey,” I said softly, “don’t be embarrassed, it’s those asshole’s fault for pushing you.”

“It’s not that easy,” Danni whispered back.

“Yes it is,” I murmured, my heart beating fast I pressed my lips against hers. I closed my eyes to block the world out until it was just Danni and I. I could taste the coffee she’d had this morning - courtesy of Mikey I would assume as Gerard was still being cold – and smell her shampoo (vanilla) from her hair blocking our faces from view. Danni’s lips were soft and it was much too soon when she pulled her head back.

“What was that for, Frank?” she asked. “How was that supposed to stop me being embarrassed? Instead of it looking like we were kissing, we actually _were_ kissing.”

She looked so beautiful that I couldn’t help bringing my hand up and stroking her cheek.

“Shh, Danni, shh,” I soothed.

Danni looked disapproving for a minute then said “Oh feck it,” and kissed me again. We were interrupted by Bob shouting across the room.

“Can I sit on your lap next, Frank?”

“Fuck off!” I called back with a smirk. Danni stood up and went to walk off but I grabbed her hand. “Wait, I have an idea.”

Danni smiled, “I think I’ve had enough of your ‘ideas’ for today, Frank.”

I grinned back, “No but you’ll love this one, I promise.”

Danni still looked suspicious but nodded and let me tug her outside and into the woods behind the building. There she faltered.

“Okay, where the hell are we going, Frank? Because the middle of nowhere is my guess.”

I shrugged, “Somewhere more private where we can talk or kiss or whatever without everyone staring at us.”

“Getting a bit ahead ourselves now aren’t we?” teased Danni, “Who said I wanted to go off and kiss you _in private_?”

I could feel myself starting to smile, “I dunno but something about the fact you were sitting on my lap kissing me may have had something to do with it.”

“Hey! It wasn’t _my_ fault I was sitting on your lap _or_ kissing you!” protested Danni.

“The way I remember it, you were an active participant in the kiss!” I argued, inching closer to Danni as I did so. From the smirk on her face I could tell she’d guessed what I was up to.

“Yeah?” asked Danni, raising one eyebrow.

“Yeah,” I replied, winding my arms around Danni’s waist.

“Do we need a second take to see who’s right?” she enquired, slipping a hand around the back of my head and resting the other on my chest.

“I think so,” I answered, barely audible as I closed the gap between us.

Danni tugged gently at the long hair at the nape of my neck and I backed her up against a large oak tree. The fresh scent of the leaves filled my nostrils and overpowered the harsh smell of cigarette smoke that clung to our clothes. Danni pulled back, panting, her lips pink and swollen from kissing and her black hair in disarray.

“Frank, I can’t do this – make out with you. That’s not the kind of person I am. I’m either dating them or I’m not – I don’t do anything in between. So what are we, Frank?”

“I don’t know,” I said nuzzling her neck and inhaling her sweet smell that was masked by the more unpleasant odours that are naturally acquired during touring. “What do you want to be?”

Danni sighed “I don’t know either, Frank, but if you want an answer you need to stop doing that because it’s distracting me.”

“This?” I asked, running my hands down her back lightly.

“No, Frank –“

“This?” I enquired leaving a trail of kisses all the way up her neck and pecking at her lips.

“No, Frank –“

“Then what?” I asked, looking into her eyes and rubbing my thumb over her palm softly.

“All of it, Frankie!” replied a frustrated Danni. “With you right here I can’t think. I’ve had a crush on you since I was fifteen and now I’ve met you I know exactly how wonderful you are, but is dating the best thing to do?” Danni ran a hand through her messy hair. “Is it really good idea? We’ve known each other less than a month and…and…I don’t know, Frankie.”

I stopped teasing and actually _looked_ at her. I saw how confused she was and I realised that maybe things wouldn’t be as simple as I first thought.

“Well do you like me?”

“Heaps, but it’s hard to tell between my feelings for ‘Frank Iero, MCR Guitarist’ and ‘Frank Iero, the person in front of me’.”

I nodded, “Okay, question two: do you like kissing me?”

“I think you’re just being nosy now,” replied Danni sceptically.

I shook my head “No, Dan, I’m just trying to get you to think but if you don’t want to tell me it’s okay. Ready for question three? Would you like to call me your boyfriend? If not then you probably don’t want to date me.” Danni stared at me for a few moments. “Hey, I know I’m gorgeous but quit the staring, okay?” I joked.

“Frank,” Danni said, deadly serious. “Frank, you are a genius.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, you’re the only one who thinks so,” I smiled. Then I went serious again, “Do you want to think about us though?”

Danni was visibly relieved. “Yes please.”

I slung my arm around her waist and we ambled back to the bus in silence.


	5. All The Wounds That Are Ever Gonna Scar Me

That evening Danni was the only thing I could think about which wasn’t helping my performance in the slightest.

“Frank! You were supposed to come in there! Quit daydreaming and _concentrate_!” cried an exasperated Gee.

“Sorry,” I muttered, trying to get my head around what I was doing. “Err, what song are we playing?”

“For fucks sake, Frank, you don’t even know what we’re playing? It’s fucking Famous Last fucking Words!” Gerard exploded.

“I _said_ I was sorry, Gerard!” I shouted “What more do you want?”

“I don’t fucking know! To never fucking see Danni Armstrong’s fucking face ever again maybe!” yelled Gerard back.

The rest of the band were wisely keeping their mouths shut. It was at that moment that Danni chose to come in. Her face went white as she registered what Gerard had just said and she quietly retreated out of the room, unnoticed by everyone except me.

I wanted to race after Danni but from the daggers Gerard was shooting me I didn’t reckon it was a good idea. As a result of that it was a good few hours before I could safely escape and go after her. I found Danni in her bunk listening to XO. I sat down gently on the edge of her bed and rested my and lightly on her knee.

“I didn’t know you liked LeATHERMØUTH,” I said surprised.

“Sorry?” Danni asked, removing her earphones.

“I didn’t know you liked LeATHERMØUTH,” I repeated.

“When the only music I need is harsh, angry and loud then I listen to LeATHERMØUTH. I can’t sleep, hence why I’m listening to it at 1:13am,” retorted Danni. **(A/N this line is borrowed from a comment on XO on YouTube)** She was hurt. _Of course_ she was hurt, Gerard had basically said he hated her!

“Gee didn’t mean it, he was just annoyed with me for not paying attention,” I said, trying to amend what Gerard had shouted.

“I know, Frank but he’s jealous, can’t you see?” replied Danni with a wry smile.

I hadn’t expected _that_ at all. What _was_ she on about?

“Jealous? Why would Gerard be jealous? He’s the one everyone wants to see, he’s the frontman, the brain behind band. He could have any girl – or guy – he wants.”

“You haven’t noticed?” asked Danni astonished. “He’s got a crush on you.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Gerard? A crush on me? Ridiculous.

“I’m not joking, Frank, it’s quite obvious if you know where to look,” Danni replied.

“Yeah! And that isn’t at me!” I chuckled but there was something darker behind it that I didn’t expect. I think Danni picked up on it too as she looked a bit peculiar.

 

Sleep that night was uncomfortable because Gerard wasn’t talking to me, and he was less than civil to Danni. What made it worse was that Danni was opposite Gerard and my bunk was above his. I was just sitting in my bunk listening to the Misfits when Mikey stuck his head through my curtain.

“Can I come in?”

I nodded absently and Mikey folded his long limbs up beside me.

“You need to talk to Gee, you know he’s not going to approach first.”

“I know, Mikey,” I sighed. “But it’s not all my fault. Okay, I wasn’t paying attention but he went off the deep end. Danni reckons he’s jealous and that’s why he’s acting like this but she’s delusional.” There was no way I was going to say _why_ Danni thought Gee was jealous – I didn’t want Mikey getting ideas.

“I dunno, Frank,” said Mikey thoughtfully. “She could have a point there.”

Oh great. Just what I’d wanted, a repeat of earlier’s ‘Why Gerard Shouldn’t Be Jealous’ argument.

“Why would Gerard be jealous? He’s the one everyone wants to see, he’s the frontman, the brain behind band. He could have any girl – or guy – he wants.”

“Except you.” Mikey’s reply was so quiet that I thought I’d imagined it.

“Huh?”

“Gee could have any girl or guy he wants except the one he does want – you,” Mikey muttered.

“What are you talking about, Mikey?”

Please no, please no. Don’t say what I think you’re going to say. No, no, no. Please no.

“He’s got a crush on you, Frank, and he’s jealous of Danni. I can’t believe you haven’t noticed.”

Mikey saw my stricken face and left me to my thoughts. To hear Danni say Gerard like me was unsettling but ignorable. To hear Mikey say the same thing meant it was almost certain, especially about Gerard. Mikey doesn’t usually say something unless it’s either necessary or true. If it is true then it _would_ explain why he was being uncharacteristically mean to Danni. But on the other hand, why hasn’t he said anything to me??


	6. Watch Me Kick Out The Jams

I must have drifted off at one point because the next thing I knew it was morning and I could hear Bob and Danni giggling across the room. They were a right pair and had gotten on like a house on fire from word go, but giggling at ass o’clock in the morning **(A/N borrowed from another fic)** was too much. I rolled over and covered my head with the duvet. \i could still hear them though.

“Guys,” I croaked. “Shut up, it’s the middle of the night. _Be quiet._ ”

The giggling subsided for a moment and the whispering started. Then all of a sudden somebody landed on me with a squawk. I sat up with a start to see Danni looking at me sheepishly.

“Bob pushed me.”

“Well now that you’re here we may as well do this…” I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers. Danni shivers slightly as the cold metal of my lip-ring press against her.Danni repositioned herself on my lap and curled her hands into my hair. Danni’s hair was greasy but I tanged my fingers into it regardless. To be honest, I suppose mine’s not any better. Danni broke the kiss, breathing heavily.

“No, Frank. Let me think, I will tell you, _soon_.”

She kissed me softly and got down off my bunk, terrifying Gerard, who wasn’t expecting Danni to leave my bunk at nine am.

“Sleeping over now are we?” asked Gerard snarkily.

“No,” Danni snapped back. “Bob pushed me.”

“And what were you doing in _Bob’s_ bunk?” asked Gerard suggestively.

I popped my head out of the bunk’s curtain. “Giggling too loudly.”

“Coffee?” I addressed the whole group.

“Yes please.”

“Mmm.”

“Oh, Frankie, if you make it then I can’t say no!”

“Shut up, Bob. You have to actually get up before I’m bringing you coffee, Mikey. Coffee, Gee?”

“Right, so that’s five coffees. Has Ray already gone out? Should I make him one too?” I enquired.

“He went out a while ago,” replied Bob “he might be back by now by now though.”

Just as he said that, the bus door slammed shut.

“Do you want coffee, Ray?” hollered Bob.

In response Ray put the kettle on. I went passed him on the way to get some mugs out. By the time I’d made coffee everyone was in the kitchen. The first coffee went to a half-asleep Mikey and the second to Gerard.

“Thanks,” he muttered. At least he said that much to me, it was an improvement from last night.

“You’re welcome, Gee.”

 

We had a show that night and I was excited, well sort of an agitated excitement. It was more than just show nerves, I was also thinking of Danni. What if she said no? We couldn’t chuck her off the tour, but it would be torment seeing her every day and knowing she wasn’t mine, that she didn’t _want_ to be mine. I couldn’t top hopping around and everyone was getting pissed at me. Eventually Ray threatened to sell Pansy if I didn’t stop and that kept me still-ish for about ten minutes but then my leg started jiggling and my hand began tapping.

“Frank! We’re going on stage in twenty minutes; can you stay still until then?” Gerard shouted.

“Don’t worry, Gerard, I have an idea,” Bob winked.

The next thing I knew, Bob had sat on me, and he’s not exactly light. I was stuck for about ten minutes when Chris called me over. I shoved Bob off me.

“Take that, fucker!” I crowed.

“Frank!” Chris was impatient.

 

“Frank!”

We were _literally_ just about to go on stage when Danni came running in.

“Frank! Wait!”

She came skidding to a stop in front of me, panting. Everyone was looking at us. I can’t blame them; we _were_ the most interesting thing in the room. Danni took a few deep breaths before continuing.

“Yes. I’ve thought, and yes. I don’t care what anyone else thinks and if it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work but at least we gave it a try.”

I beamed and flung my arms around her. I kissed her cheek swiftly before dashing onstage. The first song we played was Party Poison which had me dancing all over, lost in the music. More than once I skidded across the stage, my knees thudding painfully against the hard wood but I barely felt it I was so ecstatic. Next was Planetary (GO!) which suited my mood perfectly. Mama was after and I played everywhere, including the top of Bob’s drums. I apologised when I (high off happiness) lost my footing and landed on him. The last song we played was Desolation Row and seeing all the fans cheering made me smile wider, if that as even possible. Just before Gerard said goodbye, O grabbed his mic.

“Before we go I just want to tell you all that as of two seconds before the show started, Danni Armstrong agreed to be my girlfriend!” I beckoned to Danni who was standing at the edge of backstage. She shook her head at me, smiling but Chris wasn’t going to let her get away with it and shoved her out. I ran over and took her hand.

Even now, years later, that’s what I think of when I think of that day – me holding Danni’s hand high up in the air and the crowd cheering. Danni was laughing and I couldn’t stop smiling. There was general aura of euphoria in the air and Bob, Ray and Mikey were grinning too. Impulsively I leaned forward and pressed my lips to Danni’s. The crowd’s volume soared and I squeezed Danni’s hand. She grinned back.


	7. The Devil's Got Your Number Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School's just started so I probably won't write as much as I've got important exams this year but that doesn't mean I'm giving up! Danni and Frank will still persevere - they were meant to meet.

I felt like I was on a cloud for the next few days and nothing could bring me down, not even the teasing or Gerard’s sulking.

 _He’ll get over his crush_ I thought _that is, if he even had one in the first place._

Little did I know that Gerard had liked me for the past four years and had no intention of changing that anytime soon.

 

It was a week after The Concert that we next stayed in a hotel and the sleeping arrangements were, put it this way, complicated. However now that Danni’s with us – ad we’re going out - I wanted to share with her and Gerard could share with Bob, or Mikey and Ray could share with Bob. It used to usually be Gee and I, Mikey and Ray and Bob on his own (he snores) but because everyone are meanies they don’t want Danni and I sharing.

“Why?” I persisted in asking. “Why can’t Danni and I share?”

Eventually Chris snapped, “Because we don’t want anything going on, that’s why. Now shut the fuck up or you can sleep outside.”

Finally a decision was made, it would be the usually setup and Danni would share with Bob.

“I’ll sneak in,” I whispered to her.

“Better not, Bob’ll have a fit!” she whispered back.

“He snores,” I hissed. “He won’t hear a thing, trust me!”

Danni grinned, “Lie to me, Frankie.”

Giggling, we went off to our assigned rooms. I kissed Danni goodnight outside her door.

“See you later,” I said, my lips brushing her ear.

“Okay,” she sniggered. “See you then, but if Bob notices, it’s all your fault, got it?”

“Okay,” I murmured as I pressed my lips against hers one more tie. The fresh smell of a hot shower filled my nostrils and I could taste the lemon sorbet Danni had eaten for dessert. We were interrupted by Bob.

He cleared his throat, “Hey guys, can you take that somewhere else?”

I reluctantly removed myself from Danni’s embrace and turned to face Bob.

“Yeah sure, Bryar. How about your bed?”

“Haha. Very funny, Iero. Now budge your short ass from in front of my door or else.”

I pulled myself up to my full height – all 168cm of me.

“Or else what, Bryar?”

Danni leaned forward and mouth barely touching my ear, whispered “I lock the door tonight.”

I twisted my head so I could see her. “You wouldn’t!”

She smirked, “Oh yes I would.”

“In that case, ‘night, Dan.”

“’Night, Frankie.”

“Thank God! Finally!” Bob rolled his eyes.

 

Gerard was still being frosty so it was uncomfortable in our room. Brian had ordered us to go to bed because we would be busy and we need a good night’s sleep so Gerard and I were shut in a room together for the next ten hours. Fun. I ended up sitting on my bed with my laptop and some earphones listening to the Smashing Pumpkins.

It was a while later when I could hear Bob’s snores from through the wall and I screwed my head around to peer at Gerard but he was stubbornly sitting at the desk drawing as he had been for the past couple of hours. I sighed and got up to go into Danni regardless. It’s not like Gerard would notice anyway as he was so immersed in his art but it seemed like today wasn’t my lucky day because as soon as I went past him, Gee’s head shot up.

“Where are you going, Frank?”

I rolled my eyes, “Out, not that it’s any of your business.”

“Brian said we had to stay in our room,” Gerard snapped back.

“Since when have you done what you’re told? Relax, I’ll be back soon.”

Gerard laughed harshly, “Oh you will, when Brian goes and finds you.”

“No you won’t. You’re not going to tell Brian,” I scoffed.

“Oh, yes I will,” said Gerard grimly. I gasped; I didn’t think Gerard would actually go that far.

“You wouldn’t dare!” I argued. He just looked solemnly back; I couldn’t believe Gerard could be so _mean_. I wavered, should I still go to Danni? My feet made the decision for me by walking out the door while I was still trying to make up my mind. The door clicked shut behind me and I realised what my feet had gotten me into. I had no choice now – it was Danni or the hallway. I sighed and traipsed down the hall to Danni and Bob’s room.

I tapped on the door lightly, “Danni? Danni? Can you let me in? Dan?” I was getting worried now, why wasn’t she answering the door? I tapped harder.

“Danni?” I asked, raising my voice slightly. Still no answer. “Danni!” I hissed but there was _still_ no answer. I was getting desperate now. Danni wasn’t letting me in and Gee had locked me out and was going to tell Brian. I had no choice, I had to face Gerard. I knocked on our door.

“Gerard, can you let me in please?” I asked, my voice low.


	8. If You Wanted Honesty, That's All You Had To Say

Gerard answered the door in his skeleton pyjamas looking rumpled and smug.

“Changed you mind, did you?” he sneered, standing in the doorway. “Or was your new _friend_ not cooperating tonight?”

“My new friend has a name,” I snapped, pushing past him. “And what has Danni ever done to you anyway?”

Gerard shut the door and turned to face me, one hand on his hip.

“Oh _you_ want to know what she’s done to me? Well I’ll tell you what Danni fucking Armstrong has done to me. She’s stolen my best fucking friend from right under my nose!” Gerard was shouting now. “She’s fucking dating the person I’ve loved for _four_ years! She’s only known you for five _weeks_ and she’s stolen you from me! Now can you see why I fucking hate her!”

And all of a sudden, I did. I saw why Gerard had never liked Danni.

“You’re jealous,” I said understanding at last. “You’re jealous of Danni. Oh Ger _ard_ –“

“Thanks for pointing out the blatantly obvious!” Gerard spat before storming into the room and flinging himself into the bed and violently pulling the covers up to his throat.

I sighed, there would be no reasoning with Gerard in that mood. I got ready for bed slowly hoping that by the time I was finished, Gerard would have fallen asleep.

 

At breakfast the next day I sat there, blearily staring at the wall. That is, until Bob plopped down beside me with a grin.

“Did you have fun last night, Frank?” he chuckled.

“Where’s Danni?” I groaned.

Bob took a bite of his toast before answering, “Asleep.” He swallowed, “She should be awake soon though.”

On cue, Danni stumbled in the room. She was dressed and awake, but to be honest she looked like shit. Her clothes were buttoned up wrong and she was wearing odd socks. To top it all off her eyeliner was smudged and her hair was a haystack. I jumped up an steadied her, uiding her to the seat I had just vacated.

“What’s wrong, Danni?” I asked in concern. “Are you sick?”

Danni yawned, “I’m exhausted and I have a headache.”

“Did you not sleep well?” I asked, worried.

“I _did_ that’s the strange thing,” explained Danni. “I sat up in bed with my book and a glass of apple juice to wait for you but I nodded off straight away and I only woke up a few minutes ago. The weird thing was” – she yawned again – “I wasn’t even tired. I feel kinda sick too.”

“That _is_ weird,” I agreed.

There was a strange sound from beside me. It was Bob; he’d gone a funny colour and had his head buried in his arms.

“Are you all right?” I asked, alarmed.

Bob raised his head, took one look at us and burst out laughing.

“What’s so f-f-funny?” Danni yawned.

Bob gulped a couple of times and tried to speak but started laughing again. I couldn’t help it; I felt my lips twitch and all of a sudden I was laughing too. Danni just yawned. The other guests at the hotel stared unashamedly at us.

Mikey came in then and swept past us, whispering out of the corner of his mouth “Shut up, people are staring.”

Bob and I glanced at each other and started laughing harder – it was infectious. Danni rested her head on her arms, closed her eyes and groaned. Bob stopped laughing and looked a bit guilty.

“Are you okay, Dan?” he asked, slightly unsure.

“Hmm, I’m fine,” Danni murmured.

“You don’t _look_ fine,” Bob pointed out.

“It’ss fine,” she slurred.

“Bob’s right, you look terrible,” I added, troubled. Bob looked really guilty then and got up and went over to Mikey and whispered something to him. Mikey then got up and followed Bo over to our table. He stared at Danni for a few moments then left and returned with a glass of clear liquid.

“Drink this, Danni. It should help.” Danni took a hesitant sip.

“It’s flat 7 Up!” she exclaimed in surprise.

Mikey nodded, “it should help to settle your stomach.”

“And if you want you can come out with me, it might help clear your head,” Ray piped up, appearing from nowhere.

We went into Danni and Bob’s room and I helped Danni to do her buttons up properly and I brushed her hair. When I’d finished I stood behind her and wound my arms around her stomach.

“How do you feel?” I asked, kissing the underside of her jaw and resting my head on shoulder. “Do you want me to come with you?”

Danni rested her head on mine, “No it’s okay. It’ll be nice to spend some times with Ray for a while.”

She kissed my nose. “We better go; Ray will be waiting for me.”

Danni seemed to have recovered tremendously since we’d left the others, which was a relief.


	9. Should I Be Shocked Now By The Last Thing You Said?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bit stuck and a bit over-worked by teachers (I have state exams this year and the workload has doubled) so writing is slow but I'm doing my best!

“Are you ready, Ray?” Danni asked as we went back into the dining room.  
Ray stood up, “Yeah.”  
Bob jumped up too, “I’m coming as well, just in case.”  
Danni smiled, “You don’t have to, Bob, I’ll be fine.”  
But Bob insisted so the trio set off. I was agitated and couldn’t stop pacing. I tried to practice on Pansy for a while but I couldn’t concentrate so I went back to pacing, until a knock came at my door. I opened the door to see a slightly pink Gerard standing outside. He fidgeted a bit before starting to talk.  
“Erm,” he cleared his throat. “Could you play for me? I need to fix that bit in Fake Your Death, I can’t sing it right.”  
I shrugged, “Sure. It might keep me busy for a while.” We settled in the bus and I started strumming absentmindedly.  
“Take it from the start okay, Frankie?” Gee turned to me and I nodded with a grin. “Some people watch, some people pray, even lights can fade away…”   
I could feel my senses drift away as I merged with the music, with the twang of Pansy’s strings, the rise and fall of Gerard’s voice, and in my mind the beat of Bob’s drum, Ray and Mikey playing, eyes glued to one another. I could see the scene so clearly that it came as a shock to me when the song ended and I opened my eyes to find that it was just Gerard and I in the bus. Somewhere during the song Gerard and I had moved so that we were leaning against each other, supporting each other like was always had. I wrapped my arm around Gerard’s waist and rested my head on his shoulder with a sigh.  
“That was beautiful,” I mumbled to the underside of his jaw. Gerard hummed quietly and laid his head on mine. I shut my eyes and relished the feeling of Gerard’s body next to me.

I awoke a while later, still against Gerard, but he was sitting on the couch drawing. I was curled up against him like a dog. I sat up yawning.  
“Not sleep well last night?” Gee asked.  
“Not great,” I shrugged. “I was preoccupied y’know.” Gerard stopped drawing and twiddled the pencil nervously.  
“I’m sorry about last night,” he said awkwardly. I placed my hand on Gerard’s upper arm.  
“Hey, don’t worry about it, Gee. You’re my best fucking friend and I would die for you but I just don’t like you like that. I’m not really into dudes to be honest.” Just then Ray and Mikey clattered in, laughing.  
“Where’s Danni and Bob?” I asked. As I sad that I become aware of someone drumming at the other end of the bus. “Aahh, never mind, I can hear them.”  
There was a loud thump, a crash of the cymbal and Bob and Danni came down to us. Danni was pink in the face and her hair was scraped back. She had a great big grin on her face and was nattering to Bob nineteen to the dozen. She spotted me and stopped talking immediately   
“Frank!” she squealed. “You’re awake!” I nodded and yawned at the same time. Danni laughed. “You look cute when you’re asleep,” she teased. “All curled up to Gerard like that.”  
I chucked a cushion at her but Bob caught it. Danni stuck her tongue out at me good naturedly. I chucked another cushion at her and it hit Danni square in the face. She let out a squawk and stumbled back…straight into a pokerfaced Mikey. Mikey’s arms went out automatically and steadied Danni. She looked quite surprised, I don’t think Danni realised how affectionate Mikey really was because he didn’t show it much. He usually just kept to himself. No matter how cold or distant Mikey may seem, we all love him unconditionally. I may be the youngest but Mikey is the band’s little brother.   
Mikey released Danni with a small smile. She had gone somewhat pink – I think Danni’s slightly intimidated by Mikey to be honest.  
“So where were you, Mikey?” I asked. “Surely you didn’t go for a jog?” Mikey lost some of the expression on his face.   
“I was down the road, Fall Out Boy are staying in the hotel down there.”  
“Mikey managed to find someone shorter than you, Frank!” Danni joked.  
“You’re shorter than me,” I pointed out.  
Danni shook her head, “No I’m not; we’re the same height.” I stood upon the couch, wobbling a bit.  
“Ha! I am taller!” I taunted.   
I felt a pair of hands on my ankles and I looked down. Gerard yanked. I let out a screech and grabbed at the nearest solid object, which happened to be Ray. He was jerked forward and narrowly stopped himself from going over the back of the couch by grabbing hold of Mikey’s wrist. To steady himself, Mikey lent on Danni’s shoulder. She stumbled and crashed into Bob. Brian picked that exact moment to walk in on the pandemonium. We all froze – me collapsed on the couch with Ray’s shirt in vice grip; Gerard holding my ankles; Mikey yanked forward by Ray’s hand around his wrist and his other arm on Danni’s shoulder; Danni against Bob; and Bob, well he was the only normal person in the room.  
“What the fuck is going on?” asked Brian astonished.  
We all hurried to straighten ourselves: Gerard released my ankles and I sat up, letting go of Ray’s shirt. Ray unclamped his hand from around Mikey’s wrist and Danni stood up straight.  
“Nothing,” we all chorused. Brian narrowed his eyes but carried on regardless.  
“I just came to say that Fall Out Boy’s manager was wondering if you wanted to do a joint concert tonight, instead of two separate ones.”  
“Sure,” I agreed, looking round at the others for their opinions. Mikey looked smug. Danni was struggling to keep a straight face and Gerard looked pleased. Bob and Ray were indifferent.  
“Well better get down there now then, as we have work to do.”  
We all shuffled out but Bob stopped to say something to Brian before we left. I hope it wasn’t anything to do with Danni and I.

When we arrived at the hall, Fall Out Boy were there already. Pete greeted us very enthusiastically.   
“Good Lord, keep him away from Frank,” Brian muttered from behind me.  
“What did you say?” I asked, outraged, leaping around energetically before jumping onto Bob’s back. He groaned and Brian rolled his eyes.  
“What did I fucking say?” Brian muttered. He raised his voice and clapped me on the back. “Get the fuck down, Iero.”  
I clambered off Bob and bounced from one foot to the other. We decided that Fall Out Boy would play first and that then we would play together. Bob looked worriedly at Brian when we were discussing this. What was going on? Bob’s been acting weird all day.


	10. Tell Me Where We Go From Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Another chapter! I've gotten chapter thirteen written so I should have two chapters up in quick succession sometime soon. Also, the notebook that I write my stuff in is full! I've had to get another one and I've already started decorating it with band logos!

Fall Out Boy’s show went great; the crowd was crazy. Patrick was in top form and Pete did his usual bass-molesting show. Andy and Bob had been conversing and gesturing at the drum kit before the show and I think they were trading tips as Andy was playing better than I’ve ever heard him.

I think everyone’s favourite bit was when we played together in the middle. It was strange to hear You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison sung by Patrick, and to look over at the drum kit and see a dark ‘fro instead of Bob’s blond head. I did a double take. There _wasn’t_ a dark ‘fro at the drum kit; there _was_ a dark head but it had a blue streak in it! Danni. So _that’s_ what Bob and Brian were talking about. At least it wasn’t anything to do with Danni and I. On the other hand though, I didn’t even know Danni _could_ play the drums. I know she was playing them on the bus but a half hour lesson and actually playing are two entirely different things. Why did Danni never tell me she could play the drums? I cornered her after to investigate; I snaked an arm around her waist.

“Why’d you keep your talent on the drums a secret?” I whispered into her ear. Danni laughed and squeezed my waist.

“I didn’t,” she explained. “Until this afternoon I had never sat behind a drum kit before.” I couldn’t believe it.

“You mean to say that you learned all that this afternoon?” I asked incredulously.

Danni grinned, “Yep. Bob’s a great teacher.”

”Also,” she admitted,” I can only play that one song.”

I laughed and hugged her tighter. God, I love Danni. I can’t say how glad I am that I spotted her at our show; I can’t imagine living without knowing Danni anymore. She’s as a part of my life now as Jamia is, and Jamia and I go _way_ back. She was my best friend in high school and we’ve kept in touch. We hang out a lot when we’re not touring.

“Hey, lovebirds! We’re going on stage!” called Mikey.

“Are you coming, Frankie?” asked Ray. I kissed Danni’s ear and dashed after everyone.

We were playing pretty close to home so Christa (Ray’s girlfriend) and Jamia came to the show. We squished into our bus afterwards, all of us – Gerard, Mikey, Ray, Bob, Patrick, Pete, Andy, Joe, Christa, Jamia, Danni and I. We were squashed onto the couches – Mikey was nearly sitting on Pete’s lap. Which, I may add, neither looked too annoyed about, if you get my drift.

 

Fall Out Boy decided to tour with us and we carried on to Chicago where we met Bob’s girlfriend Kaitlin before the show. We hadn’t met her before and I think she was a little surprised at how close we were, Fall Out Boy as well. We’re all so different but we fit together so well. A prime example of this is Mikey and Pete. Mikey’s so quiet and rarely shares anything about how he feels whereas Pete is like a volcano; big outbursts then nothing for a while. Somehow they go perfectly together. Pete livens Mikey up and Mikey’s sensible demeanour counteracts Pete’s youthful energy. Quite often Mikey stops Pete from doing something that Pete fails to see is blatantly a very stupid idea. I’m not saying that Pete is stupid, just that sometimes he gets so excited that he forgets.

I think Kaitlin liked us, though I could be wrong. She was quite shy and didn’t say much to begin with. I must admit, we can be rather overwhelming sometimes. However we were pretty low-key that night; we just relaxed on Fall Out Boy’s bus and joked around. I was a little drunk too so Jamia was being tactical as I’m not known for that even when sober.

“So how did you meet Bob, Kaitlin?”

Kaitlin went slightly pink. “Um, we met through a mutual friend.” She glanced over at Bob before continuing. “My brother’s best friend’s cousin worked with Bob a few times.”

“Oh cool,” Danni nodded. “I’m a crazy fan that Frank picked up in Ireland.”

Kaitlin looked like she wasn’t sure if she should laugh or not so just gave a small smile. “Yeah, I noticed your accent. This must be a big change for you.”

Danni grinned, “It’s a dream come true! I thought the happiest day of my life was going to be at a MCR concert. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect that I’d be here now.”

“To be honest,” Ray said looking around. “I don’t any of us expected to be here now.”

“I certainly didn’t,” piped up Mikey. “Gee, didn’t you say that you never expected we would go past The Black Parade?”

Gerard nodded, his lips clamped firmly around a beer bottle. He finished drinking and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Yeah, I can’t believe how far we’ve come.”

“Us too,” agreed Andy. “When we went on a hiatus I had a feeling that we were over no matter how many times we said we weren’t. I’m really glad we’re not though.”

“So am I!” laughed Danni. “Us fans are overjoyed. Now don’t you guys go giving us a scare like that,” she said sternly to Gee, Ray, Bob, Mikey and I.

“We won’t,” I promised.

“Don’t worry, Dan, we’ll just break up instead,” Bob said, trying to be serious but breaking out in a grin at the end.

“Don’t you dare!” Danni shrieked, pelting him in the stomach. Bob just laughed and hugged her tightly. Danni wrapped her arms round him and squeezed. I felt a tiny pang of jealousy, but only after a wave of how perfect they were together hit me. I don’t think that I’m supposed to have thoughts like that when I’m going out with Danni. As if to confirm that feeling, Gerard smiled across the room at me and I automatically grinned back. My face went hot and I ducked my head to stare at the bottle of beer clutched in my slightly sweaty fingers. I could feel my pulse thrumming in my veins and my heartbeat speed up. I swallowed nervously as I started having dangerous thoughts about Gee. Ever since he told me that he loved me there’s been niggling thoughts at the back of my mind. I kept returning to when Gee and I played Fake Your Death and I woke up curled against Gerard’s side. He was so warm and comforting that I didn’t want to move. I’ve fallen asleep next to Gerard millions of times and every single time I’ve slept better than usual. That’s something I’ve never experienced with Danni so maybe I shouldn’t compare them, but at the same time to figure this out, I have to. Danni and I, we were a love at first sight thing but Gerard and I have known each other years. There’s no doubt that I love him, but all the band feel like family, and he’s my best fucking friend so it’s hard to tell if my love is merely platonic…or not.

And if I’m in love with Gerard then what does that mean for my sexuality? I’ve always been pretty sure that I’m heterosexual but Gerard’s messing with my head. Gerard has _always_ messed with my head. Do you know that one of the first times I met Gerard he was dressed as a chick? I told my friend Shaun that I’d date “her”. You can imagine my surprise when I found out “she” was my new friend Mikey’s brother. I can honestly say that y first feeling was one of disgust and that’s something that I’ve felt bad about ever since.

Ironically it was Gerard’s voice that brought me out of my thoughts.

“You okay, Frankie?”

I gave him a weak smile back. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I croaked out past the lump in my throat. I could feel Danni’s gaze on me too. Wordlessly she snugged up to me and wrapped her arms around my torso. Danni leant her head on my shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. I held Danni close and took comfort in her warmth and the soft puff of her breath against my throat. I swallowed my tears as I slowly realised that maybe Danni and I weren’t meant to be together after all.


	11. Listen Up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the written ages ago but my laptop wouldn't connect to the internet so I resorted to memory stick. I know I left it on a cliff-hanger so enjoy!

I took most of my insecurities and worries out on Pansy and my knees. During the week we were in Chicago I broke as many strings as I had done on the rest of the tour so far. My knees were all torn up from crashing to the stage floor too many times, that and the fact that none of my jeans had material covering my knees anymore (re-read point one on sore knees for the reason why). Everyone guessed that something was up but they didn’t press me to share which I was thankful for. I spent more time with Danni as if to convince myself that I loved _her_. That we _were_ meant to be together. But the more I spent time I spent with her, the more confused I became. I’d also started to avoid Gerard which made him cranky because he didn’t know what he’d done wrong. Danni was worried; I’d seen her and Ray discussing me one afternoon. Bob wasn’t oblivious but he didn’t do anything. Mikey looked pointedly at me over the top of his glasses at regular intervals. Every time he did that I looked purposely away before it made me uncomfortable.

 

It was our last day in Chicago when we met Mindless Self Indulgence. We’d toured together before and they were pretty cool. Lyn-Z and Gerard had gotten on like a house on fire. Within a couple of hours of meeting they were as thick as thieves, so of course when we met again one of the first things Gerard said was “D’ya wanna come on tour with us?”

So we went from touring alone to touring with two other bands. Figures. To be honest it’s all the Way’s fault. Mikey invited Fall Out Boy (I think it was more dating opportunities with Pete than wanting to tour with them) and Gerard invited Mindless Self Indulgence (once again; dating opportunities with the bassist). I suppose that I invited Danni without clearing it with the band first, but that was only one person not a whole band. Admittedly though, Danni _was_ staying in our tour bus and Fall Out Boy and Mindless Self Indulgence have their own buses, but still.

 

We were all over the place when we started travelling – Gerard was on Mindless Self Indulgence’s bus, Mikey and Ray were on Fall Out Boy’s bus – so it was just Bob and I left in the front of our bus as the girls – Jamia, Christa and Kaitlin – had kidnapped (or would that be adultnapped?) Danni for a girlie afternoon. We were wisely staying out of the way.

Ever since I’d had the thought that Bob and Danni would make a great couple things have been a little weird between us. Well it’s mainly me because Bob doesn’t actually have anything to be weird about.

Bob and I had decided that a zombie video game afternoon was well deserved. After about ten minutes however, Bob paused it and cleared his throat.

“Um, Frank?” he asked awkwardly.

“Yeah?”

“Well you know the first night we stayed in a hotel after you and Danni started going out?” Where _was_ Bob going with this?

“Yeah…?”

“And y’know how Danni was sick the next morning?”

“Yeah?” I was even more confused now. Why was Bob bringing this up now? And what relevance did it have to anything? Bob squirmed in his seat – I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bob look so uncomfortable.

“Well…IkindagavehersomeofGee’ssleepingpills,” he blurted out.

I screwed around to look at Bob’s face. “What did you say?”

Bob swallowed, “I kinda gave her some of Gee’s sleeping pills.”

I was shocked, that was _not_ I’d been expecting _at all_.

“What! Why did you do that?”

Bob ducked his head and fiddled with a stray thread on his hoodie. “I’m not sure.”

“What do you mean you’re ‘not sure’?” I was _furious_ , Danni had felt terrible and Bob – her new best friend – ‘s “not sure” why he did it.

“I think,” Bob started, raising his head slightly, “I was just sick of you two being so lovey-dovey and I just wanted a break from it all. The door needed to be opened from the inside so if Danni was out then you couldn’t come in and I could sleep soundly. I didn’t expect her to react so badly – honest. Gee had never been like that.”

“Yes he fucking was!” I shouted red in the face. “You weren’t there when he was bad! You never saw him when he started to use the sleeping pills! Part of it was withdrawal but for fucks sake, Bryar, use your head! Did it never occur to you that giving _someone else’s_ prescribed sleeping pills to her you could do some damage?” I turned away, disgusted, and walked into the back room – it wasn’t like I could go anywhere else. What with going down the highway and all. I sat down heavily onto the couch, once I’d shoved Gerard’s shit off it, and put my head in my hands.

What the fuck was I going to do now? Danni needed to know but at the same time Bob _was_ sorry and Dan seemed to have forgotten about it. Could I really drag it all up again and potentially ruin Bob and Danni’s friendship? Of course I couldn’t. I’m a big softie – too forgiving for my own good. So I compensated by sighing, rolling my eyes and listening to Black Flag and the Misfits really loudly with my earphones. I could be a grown up later but for now I was fifteen again – fucked up and lazy.

 

It was a couple of hours later that I finally emerged from my hiding place. Bob was playing our zombie game with Jamia, Christa and Kaitlin were discussing clothes and Danni was knitting. I went straight up to Bob.

“Bob, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to react so badly.” I got a little choked up at the end as I recalled what I’d said so I just flung myself onto his lap and buried my head in Bob’s neck. Bob paused the game and patted my shoulder awkwardly.

“Frank, to be honest I think I deserved most of what you said to me.” He shot a panicked look over to the girls and Jamia took pity on him – Danni was too busy laughing to be much use.

“Frankie,” she coaxed, tugging me by the armpits, “You’re squashing Bob.”

Once I had stopped squashing Bob – how is that even possible? I’m the smallest guy in the band – I sat down in a much more sociably acceptable place – on the chair next to Danni.

“So,” I said resting my chin on my hands. “What are you knitting?”

“A scarf,” Danni replied with a grin. “I can’t knit anything else!”

“You must have a lot of scarves at home then.”

“Actually, no,” Danni gave me a rueful smile. “I don’t wear scarves; they’re itchy.

“So what do you do with all the scarves then?” I wondered out loud.

“Everyone wants a lovely, hand knitted scarf for Christmas, don’t they?” Danni laughed.

 

We spent the reminder of the time on the bus in relative silence – bar the sounds from Bob and Jamia’s game and the quiet murmur of Christa and Kaitlin talking. It was a very peaceful feeling and I felt a rush of gratitude towards the people in my life and I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.


	12. This Ain't Gonna Cut The Mustard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this today to get up to the next chapter which I wrote weeks ago. It's a little rushed but I hope you enjoy it!

When we arrived at the stadium Fall Out Boy and Mindless Self Indulgence were already there. Gerard and Lyn-Z were nattering away by themselves while the others were looking slightly bored. Mikey and Pete were looking very pally if you get my drift. Mikey was wearing Pete’s white denim jacket and Pete was wearing a Revenge t-shirt. Last time we’d seen Fall Out Boy Mikey had been going on and on about Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge….coincidence? I think not.

As soon as he saw us, Pete’s face lit up.

“Hey!” he called, bouncing over. “What took you so long?” I couldn’t help but smile at Pete’s overenthusiastic greeting.

“Our driver actually values his life,” replied Bob, deadpan.

“I value my life!” protested Fall Out Boy’s driver, Steven.

“So do I!” chimed in John, Mindless Self Indulgence’s driver, indignantly. “Dylan just drives really slowly.”

“Okay, okay,” Bob raised his hands in surrender, “I get it. You all value your lives. Now can we get this show on the road?”

“Not literally, I hope,” joked Danni. “We just got _off_ the road.”

 

The show was a lot of sharing band members and playing each other’s songs. I loved it, and if the screams from the crowd were anything to go by, so did they. I was dripping in sweat by the time it was just us – My Chemical Romance – on stage and so was everyone else. Ray’s hair was all frazzled and he shook sweat off his hair like a dog. Mikey had also sweated through his hair gel and his hair was held back by sheer perspiration. Gerard had black strands sticking to his neck and my make-up had run down my face in red streaks.

I flung myself across the stage in a frenzy. I bent backwards and played Pansy across my stomach in a weak imitation of Lyn-Z. I think that I was subconsciously trying to get Gerard’s attention. When that didn’t work I pressed myself up against Gerard and started licking up his face. Gerard arched his back into me and turned his head so that the kiss I was about to press to his cheek hit him square on the mouth. Gerard smirked against my lips and I twirled away, belting out I Never Told You What I Do For A Living on Pansy. I threw myself onto the floor and twanged Pansy’s string so hard that I’m surprised they didn’t break.

The adrenaline of the show took me over and it wasn’t until we clambered onto the bus that I felt it all catch up to me. I collapsed into my bunk, kicked off my shoes and fell fast asleep to the call of “stinky!” from my loving girlfriend.

 

When I woke up the next morning my knees and arms were covered in bruises and I ached all over. I’d do the whole thing over again though. No wonder people call me crazy!

“Mornin’ sleepyhead!” Danni greeted me with a bowl of Cheerios in one hand and a beaker of orange juice in the other – Brian had refused to allow us to have anything breakable so we were eating out of plastic and tin.

“Mmm, thanks,” I replied, grabbing at the food. Danni laughed and pecked my cheek.

“These are mine, there’s soya milk in the fridge. You’d better use it because I don’t think anyone told Ray that although I’m allergic to dairy I don’t use soya either so he’s bought double. It’s kind of him though.”

I nodded in reply and ate a spoon of Danni’s Cheerios. Danni sighed and got a second spoon. We were still sharing the Cheerios when Gerard decided to grace us with his presence, Mikey trailing after him, also on the hunt for coffee. Gerard seemed to wake up more when he saw us and I momentarily felt bad. I shouldn’t though because Danni’s my girlfriend.

I really need to figure out what’s going on with me and Gee. That’s the problem though, there shouldn’t _be_ anything going on with Gee and I. I’m in the first proper relationship since Jamia (long story) and I’m already fucking it up. We’ve only been going out for less than a month and I’m already screwed. Funnily enough, it was a guy who broke Jamia and I up too. He was a really cool guy and I was intrigued with him. I suppose I can’t completely blame him though; Jamia and I were rocky before he came along. He just made us realise that we were better off as best friends.

“Hey, Frank?” Danni asked, spoon halfway to her mouth.

“Hmm?” I replied nudging her with my shoulder.

“Could you help me with a song I’m working on? There’s a bit that sounds weird.”

I looked at Danni in surprise, “I didn’t know you wrote songs!”

Danni gave me a shy grin, “I do sometimes. The words just come to me when I’m doing things. I haven’t written much for a while though and I’m not sure if anything will come of it. I’d like your opinion though.”

“I’d love to, Dan!” I smiled lovingly at her. “Why don’t you go and it get and I’ll wash these up.”

I was just putting the bowl in the sink when Ray came back from his jog.

“Frank? Brian’s looking for you. He said that you two need to have ‘a discussion’ ”

I groaned, “I literally just promised Danni I’d help her with some lyrics.”

“I’ll help her if you want?” Ray offered.

“No offence, man, but you can’t write for toffee.”

“Well how about Gerard? He’s not doing anything.”

I grimaced, “Gerard can’t stand Danni – you know that.”

“I’ll get Mikey to ask him,” Ray promised. “He won’t refuse Mikey and his poker face, trust me.”

“Thanks, Ray. I owe you.”

“You bet you do!” Ray hollered after me.

 

I had a very lengthy discussion with Brian and then I had to tune Pansy. By the time I was free it was time for sound check.

“Fuck,” I swore as I raced over. Danni would be pissed at me. At least it was hotel night tonight so I could apologise clean.

 

When I arrived, Gerard, Jimmy, Lyn-Z and Danni were pored over a notebook in the corner. I took a stab in the dark and guessed that Mikey had persuaded Gerard to help Danni. Hopefully she wouldn’t be annoyed at me now.

“Hi, Frank! Did you have a nice ‘discussion’ with Brian?” Lyn-Z giggled.

“Fine thanks. Danni, I’ sorry I couldn’t help with your lyrics-”

“Nah, it’s okay,” Danni interrupted. “Gerard helped me then Jimmy and Lyn-Z joined in too. I’m way ahead of where I was. Don’t worry.”


	13. There's No Way I'm Kissing That Guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never played Spin The Bottle nor seen it being played so please excuse any inaccuracies. This was very fun to write though!

It was after the show and we were relaxing in someone’s hotel room with a shit load of beers. We’d drunk a good few and I was that fuzzy drunk – I think most of us were to be honest – when Gerard came up with the idea of playing spin the bottle.

“But we’re mainly all dudes, Gerard,” Bob pointed out. “No offense but I don’t want to kiss any of you.”

Gerard didn’t listen; he just drained his bottle of beer and slapped it down into the middle of the circle and spun it. The bottle whizzed round and slowed at Andy. He pulled a face that I can only describe as apprehensive. Gerard flexed his wrist dramatically before spinning the bottle a second time. It stopped at Christa.

“Ooh, watch out Ray! Andy’s ‘fro might be more appealing than yours!” Lyn-Z called.

Christa gave a small smile, squeezed Ray’s leg lightly and got up to give Andy a peck.

“Boo! That’s not a real kiss!” I shrieked.

“Kiss him again!” cried Pete.

 

Christa gave Pete a wicked grin and turned to Andy. She took his face in her hands and gave him a proper lip-smacker. Pete, Jimmy and I cheered loudly. Christa sat back down next to Ray rather pink in the face.

Gerard put on a dramatic voice, “And next we have…” he spun the bottle “Pete and…” he spun it again “Mikey!”

I looked at Danni; I couldn’t help myself. “Ooh!” we chorused.

Mikey looked nervous; well at least I assume that’s how he felt because he doesn’t really change his facial expression; a slight movement of his eyebrow in this case. Pete on the other hand looked thrilled. He leapt up and bounded over to Mikey. There he slowed and sat down. He gently held Mikey’s head and looked him in the eye. Slowly Pete brought his face closer to Mikey’s. Mikey’s breathing sped up and he brought his face to meet Pete’s. There was hardly a sound in the room until Jamia sneezed. Mikey pulled back sharply; his cheeks a pale pink. Pete was subdued and sat down softly, a look of reverence on his face. As Gerard spun the bottle for the fifth time, Pete stopped looking so shocked and started smiling, only a little at first but within a couple of minutes it was a great big grin that took over his whole face. Mikey was still pink but looking quite pleased as Kaitlin and Kitty smooched across the room. I was too busy sniggering over Pete and Mikey’s reactions that I only noticed that the bottle had stopped on me when Lyn-Z whistled at me.

“Who are you gonna be in a lip-lock with, Frankie?” asked Danni, digging her elbow into my side.

Gerard waited until everyone was looking at him and spun the bottle with a flick of his wrist. The bottle whizzed around and finally stopped pointing at Gerard himself. Gerard looked completely shocked but I shot him a reassuring smile before climbing to my feet. Despite the fact that Gerard was less than two metres away the journey over felt like the longest walk of my life. I finally reached Gee, who was on his feet. I reached forward and brushed that hair back off his face and left my hand on his cheek, curling under his jaw. Gerard rested his hands on my hips and gently tugged me towards him. I twisted my fingers into the dark hair at the back of Gerard’s head. He started breathing really fast and my heart thumped hard against my ribs. My eyes drifted shut and I got closer to Gee, inhaling the bitter-sweet scent of nicotine and chocolate that lingered on his breath. Gerard’s lips touched mine lightly and I pressed firmly against them. His lips were soft and his hands were warm on my back. I don’t know how long we stood there for but eventually I hard Bob say to Danni “Are you sure you’re going out with Frank? Because he seems to be very into kissing Gerard at the minute.

“Are you just a cover-up so we don’t know?” chimed in Steve.

Somebody laughed – I think it was Danni – and there was a dull thump which I think was her hitting Bob.

“Oi! Frank! Is this your not-so-subtle way of breaking up with me?” she called. “Pun not intended,” she added as an afterthought. I pressed hard against Gerard’s lips one last time before untangling myself from his embrace and strolling back across the room to my seat beside Danni, who gave me a wicked grin.

“If I didn’t ship you two so much,” she leaned forward to my ear “I’d be very annoyed about that.”

“I’m not into guys, Dan, you can give up ‘shipping’ us together,” I replied trying to be nonchalant but I don’t think I succeeded, if Danni’s raised eyebrow was anything to go by.

“Yeah but Gerard’s like half girl,” she scoffed, “He owns more make-up than all of us girls put together for God’s sake!” “Except Lyn-Z,” she added thoughtfully, “Lyn-Z has loads of make-up, no wonder they get on so well. They bonded over make-up. How romantic”!” She did a fake squeal.

“Okay,” Gerard raised his voice over the chatter. “It’s Danni’s go now.” He indicated the bottle. “Who’s it gonna be?”

All eyes were on the bottle as it turned around and around before it eventually pointed at Bob.

“I knew something was going on!” yelled Jimmy. “Ray told me all about Danni leaving your bunk in the morning!” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Jamia burst out laughing.

“When was that?” she spluttered between giggles. “Come on, Frankie, spill!”

Danni gave me a peck on the cheek and leaned over to Bob. He pulled a face before bending to meet her lips. They kissed for a minute but they soon stopped.

“I love you, Bob, but not like that,” Danni shuddered violently. “Never again.”

“Agreed,” responded Bob, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“And our next couple is…” Gerard waited for the bottle to stop “Jimmy and Steve!”

“And die with your mask on if you have to,” quipped Steve before Jimmy planted one on him. “And there goes my mask! You all know I’m gay,” he finished when Jimmy released him. We all laughed at his expression.

“Who hasn’t kissed anyone yet?” Gerard asked, looking around. “Oh, Ray! You can go now.” Gerard spun the bottle. “Aaaaand, its Jamia!”

I walloped Jamia’s back, “I always said you were perfect for each other! Always too nice for your own good!” I hollered. Jamia went very pink but I think that was because I walloped her, not because of having to kiss Ray. When they kissed Ray’s hair fell forward and blocked their faces from view and Jamia started sniggering.

“Your hair is ticklish!

Ray started laughing too so he just hugged Jamia tightly and sat back down.

“Patrick, it’s your turn,” said Gerard bossily. “And it’s…Joe!”

“Let’s hope this kiss interrupted by Joe’s ‘fro!” Lyn-Z joked. But Patrick and Joe’s kiss happened without incident and soon Gerard was spinning the bottle for the last time.

“It’s your lucky day, Patrick,” Gee exclaimed. “You get two kisses in a row!”

We all turned to Lyn-Z. She gave a bright grin and bounced over to Patrick.


	14. Blue Underwear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a warning, this chapter is a little more mature than I'm used to writing.

It was about 2am when we went back to our rooms. I admit that I was a little on the drunk side by that stage. Danni appeared under my arm and wrapped her arm around my waist. I laughed and placed a smacker on Danni’s cheek.

“Okay, Frank,” Danni rolled her eyes, “I think you’ve had a _little_ too much to drink.”

I giggled and buried my face in Danni’s hair and inhaled.

“Hmmm, you smell nice, Dan,” I mumbled into her neck.

“Come on, Frankie, you should probably go to bed now and sleep it off.”

Danni supported me on to way to Gerard and I’s room. Danni let go of me to shut the door behind us. I stumbled across the room and lurched to a stop at the bed. I was unsteady on my feet though, so I crashed down onto the double bed.

“Come and ssstay with meee,” I pleaded.

Danni shook her head firmly, “No, Frankie. You’re drunk and horny. Anyway Gerard will flip if he finds me here.” Danni tucked me into the bed and kissed my forehead, skilfully avoiding my hands as she did so. “G’night, Frankie.”

 

I think I must have dozed off for a while because the next thing I remember is Gerard crashing around the room.

“Gee?” I murmured, still sleepy.

“Go back to sleep, Frankie, I’m just trying to find my….” Gerard trailed off into silence as he continued to rummage around.

“’m cold, Gee. Come and warm me up,” I whined.

“One minute, one minute,” Gerard mumbled, his head in the suitcase looking for whatever he was searching for; his sketchbook probably.

“It’ll still be there in the morning, Gee, and I’m cold _now_!”

“All right, all right, I’m coming,” Gerard grumbled as he clambered back into bed with me. I curled up against Gerard, winding my legs through his. I buried my face in his chest and threw my arm across his chest to stop Gerard from going anywhere or looking for something else that is perfectly fine where it is until an acceptable hour of the morning. I could feel myself growing drowsier by the minute and I _think_ that I kissed Gee’s neck a few times but drunk _and_ tired aren’t the best mix for a good memory. However I _definitely_ remember Gerard kissing the top of my head before drifting off himself.

 

I was awoken a while later because of the uncomfortable position I was in. I was on my back and Gerard was curled up around me. Gerard had a knee up my armpit and the other tucked under my leg. His head was laid on my shoulder and his breath was puffing against my collarbone. One of Gee’s arms was wrapped around my back and the other was rested on my hip; scarily close to the tent in the crotch of my boxer shorts. What made it all so much more embarrassing was Gerard’s hard-on digging into my stomach. If it was one of us then it would be a hell of a lot less awkward.

Also, where were my clothes? Danni had tucked me in and I’m like 95% sure that the only things she took off were my belt and shoes. And Gerard? Well I could clearly see his skeleton pyjamas hanging off the edge of the bed and his blue boxers on the floor making it very clear that he wasn’t wearing either of them. Where did that leave me? In a very awkward - not to mention almost naked – position with a guy who has a crush on me and I may have like him too, while my girlfriend is in the room next door fast asleep. Not only is my girlfriend next door while I have a boner for Gerard, my girlfriend is next door with _Jamia_. Jamia who knows every embarrassing story about me _ever_ and could potentially tell Danni them all, including about that one time I pretended Jamia was my girlfriend because Mary O’Connor - apparently I have a thing for Irish girls – was coming along and Jamia was pulling a splinter out of my hand while I was crying uncontrollably – please remember I was sixteen. When I saw Mary I clutched Jamia’s hand tightly and buried my face in her shoulder so Mary wouldn’t see my tears. The next day Mary started going out with Leo Moran and it took a month before the rumours of Jamia and I going out died down. I’m not what you’d call lucky in love.

Jamia was my first girlfriend an we broke up because we realised that we’re better off as friends so I guess you could say that Danni’s my first _proper_ girlfriend, and I’m half hung up on Gerard. _Gerard_. A guy. Not a girl with soft curves and silky hair smelling faintly of vanilla, a straight, hard-bodied, greasy-haired _guy_ who always smells of coffee and paint and whose erection is currently digging into my stomach.

Just as I reached that thought, Gerard stirred. He wriggled a bit, rubbing his dick off me as he did so, and kissed my chin. I was _very_ aware of my hard-on which was starting to become uncomfortable, especially as Gerard was pressed up against my side. Gee half-opened one eye and squinted at me before closing his eye again.

“Frankie?” he croaked in a slightly surprised tone.

“Yes, Gee?” I replied stroking his hair off his face. At that Gerard sprung up, dragging the duvet up as he did so, and looked down at me.

“So it wasn’t a dream?”

“What wasn’t a dream, Gee?” I asked softly.

Gerard didn’t reply; he just searched my face then let his eyes wander further down. When his gaze reached my belly button he jerked his head up and went an interesting shade of red. Gerard’s hands curled together at his groin and my lips twitched.

“Gerard, there’s no need to hide. I know you’re hard; you were rubbing it against me earlier.”

At my words Gerard went plum and his mouth dropped open. It lasted for about a minute and a half before Gerard recovered.

“You’re fucking with me, Frank. It’s not fucking funny!”

Gerard’s face was hilarious and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m not, Gee, honest. You were laying on me and rubbing your dick off my stomach.” I bit back my next words ‘and it felt really good’ because I couldn’t let Gerard get his hopes up, it wouldn’t be fair on him. I gave Gerard a half-smile, “Don’t worry, Gee. Just go and have a shower; you stink.”

Gerard looked as if he was going to say something but he just nodded and went off to have a shower. I rolled over onto my stomach and groaned into my pillow. What the fuck was I going to do? It didn’t help that I was painfully hard and laying on my front felt so _good_. I wriggled my hips a little and almost moaned from the pleasure that shot up my body. There was a low whimper from the bathroom just before I heard the shower start up and the thought that Gerard was jerking off made me ache even more. _Fuck it_ I thought as I turned over and reached for my dick. I’d barely touched myself when I came all over my stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my laptop might be fixed now - I hope so! - so all I need to do is get chapter 15 typed up. Unfortunately for you guys, I've got mock exams next week so I'm up to my eyes in work.


	15. Skittles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in the chapter; I wrote the end really quickly to get it up but then AO3 wouldn't let me put it up but I forgot it wasn't up until earlier so yeah. Also, I'm stuck, I lost my plan of what's going to happen so I'm winging it at the moment. For those who actually read this far, THANK YOU! Support is very much appreciated.

Gerard came out of the shower, his skin a soft pink and his hair a dark halo around his head. As I passed him to have my own shower, I couldn’t help but press a quick kiss against his warm lips. I regretted it as soon as I’d touched his mouth, but oh God, it felt so good I didn’t want to stop. I couldn’t keep doing this to Gerard though; kissing him but still denying that I liked him. I knew Danni wouldn’t be annoyed if I broke up with her to go out with Gerard – she’s our number one fan. Danni would be thrilled if I went out with Gee to be honest but, but I’m _straight_. I like girls. Full stop. The end. Not boys, girls. Gerard’s more feminine than Danni anyway. It doesn’t mean I’m gay. Well, I wouldn’t be anyhow, would I? I’d be bisexual or pansexual or something because I like girls too.

Why-oh-why did Gee have to say he loved me? I was perfectly happy falling in love with Danni; sure of my sexuality, but now? I don’t have a clue.

I was startled out of my thoughts by a loud bang on the door. I quickly wrapped a towel around my waist and started drying my hair. I could hear Brian and Gerard conversing in our room and I prayed for something to keep my mind off my sexuality.

As hoped, we were having an interview after lunch, followed by a meet-and-greet. Then we had time for dinner and the show in the evening. It was going to be a long, busy day – just what I needed to get my mind off everything.

 

The interview went very much as expected; questions about the tour, our time off, The Paper Kingdom etc. and then came The Question.

“So, Frank. Tell us, are you and Danni serious? Or is it just a summer fling?”

I’d just taken a sip of water and she made me choke on it. Gerard walloped my back.

“Calm down, Frankie. We haven’t time to get a new guitarist.”

When I got my breath back I smiled at the interviewer.

“To be honest, ma’am, I don’t know. As Danni said, “if it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work but at least we gave it a try.” ”

The interviewer was apparently satisfied with that answer as she changed the subject. “How’s the tour going for you, Mikey?”

Mikey nodded, “Pretty good. How ‘bout you?”

The interviewer looked a bit baffled, “….I didn’t go on tour.” Mikey looked mildly embarrassed and gave the interviewer a rare smile. The interviewer cleared her throat and carried on to the next question.

“It seems people are now writing fanfiction. Have you read any of it, Frank?”

“I've heard about it, I tend not to read it, I don't know. I think that, one, I would be,“ I paused to find the right word, “creeped out by reading about myself as a character in something? And then I would probably creep out the kids that write it, because they don't want _me_ to read it.”

“Someone sent me a link to one, it was about me and my brother, got one paragraph in, read something, exited the box and that's the end of me reading fanfiction.” Mikey looked faintly horrified.

“How about you, Ray? What’s your thoughts on fanfiction?”

“It’s cool that, uh, you know, kids are, y’know, being creative, and kind of exploring their creativity. Stop making us have sex in your fanfictions though!”

The interviewer turned to Gerard and I, “Pairing you two together is popular in fanfictions. How do you feel about that?”

Gerard was obviously uncomfortable with this question, and for a good reason too, regardless he did his best to answer it.

“Personally? I think that the fact that middle schoolers will look at a picture of two boys kissing and say "hot!" instead of "eww!" is fucking amazing. That is awesome. I don’t read fics though, y’all are crazy!”

“What about any of your girlfriends? Have they read any, or actually written some?”

I laughed, “Danni probably has! She loves reading and writing; I never asked her though. She ‘ships’ Gee and I a lot too so, yeah, I reckon Danni most likely _has_ read fanfiction and possibly written some of her own.”

“Kaitlin have never even heard of MCR when we started going out so I’m fairly sure _she_ hasn’t,” Bob admitted.

“Christa and I have known each other a long time so don’t think she has either,” put in Ray.

We all turned to look at the Way brothers. Gerard raised his hands in surrender.

“I’m not dating anyone,” he protested. All eyes moved to Mikey.

“I wouldn’t put it past Pete,” he shrugged. The interviewer looked _very_ surprised at the fact Mikey was dating Pete and I struggled to hold in my smirk; as soon as I saw Fall Out Boy again I knew Mikey and Pete would have _something_. All those shared lovesick looks across the room and how they blushed when their hands would brush; you’d have to be blind to miss it. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I hadn’t noticed the interviewer had moved on to a new topic.

“So do you guys party after shows?”

“No, no, no,” laughed Mikey. “I’m lame.”

“We’ll play shows and go back to the hotel and play computer games,” added Ray.

“Oh wait! Kids aren’t supposed to know that!” Mikey realised.

“We party until the sun comes up!” Ray joked.

“I drink soda all night!” Mikey exclaimed.

“With Pete?” was my input. Mikey went a pale pink and Gerard immediately started talking – well after shooting me a furious glare which I returned with a bright grin.


	16. Heart Attack In Black Hair Dye

****

We had a meet-and-greet next which I always enjoy. The fans are always so excited that I can’t help but feel happy. There were so any questions from the fans about Gerard and I – mainly about the show last night. I must admit that I went a little crazy. I’m not sure what possessed me to lick Gerard’s face though; I suppose it was just the adrenaline of the show taking me over. I get so caught up in the music that I’m not in control of my body anymore. I feel sorta bad though because I’m kind of leading Gerard on; pressing up against him on stage but denying I like him offstage – wait! “Denying” I like him; _do_ I like him??? You know, I think I do. Maybe.

 

We had free time the next day so the girls went off on a shopping trip and us lads lazed around. We were all just hanging out in the back of our bus playing videogames when the girls came back. Danni just had her backpack but the others all had a couple of bags each. Dan came and perched on the arm of my chair. I paused the game and peered up at her.

“Not buy anything, darling?” Danni laughed and bent down to peck my forehead.

“Sure I did, only mine are in my backpack; books and CDs mainly. Oh! And a couple of eyeliner pencils; I know Gerard stole yours last week.” I stood up to give her a proper hug.

“Thanks, you’re definitely the best girlfriend I’ve ever had. D’ya hear that, Jamia?” I shouted over Dan’s shoulder.

Jamia came over and wrapped an arm around Danni’s waist, “Sorry, Frank. Were you talking to me?”

“Yeah, Frankie, what are you saying to my girlfriend?” Danni joked.

“Okay, I take that back. At least Jamia never cheated on me with my ex.”

“Jamia is your only ex,” Danni pointed out.

“Yeah,” I agreed, “I take it both back. Neither of you are the best girlfriend.” I raised my voice so the whole bus could hear, “Any takers for the winner of the best girlfriend award?”

“Oh sure,” said Gerard lazily, “I’d love to.” I bounded over and placed a slobbery kiss on his cheek. “Ugh!” Gerard recoiled and put his hands out as if to fend me off but I just laughed and blew him a raspberry. The bus jolted into motion and I fell into Gerard’s lap with an exclamation of surprise. Gee’s went out and held me close. Pretending that I was still looking for the best girlfriend award, I wrapped my arm around Gerard’s neck and pulled faces at him. I snuggled my head into his neck.

“I think you’re winning,” I whispered quietly before pressing a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw. I could feel Gerard flush and I hid my smile in his shirt collar. The bus rumbled around a corner pushing me into Gee more. I wriggled to get up again, pressing hard against Gerard’s crotch as I did so. Just before I got up properly I felt Gee tense and move about on the couch a bit. I’m pretty sure he had a boner and wasn’t just finding more comfortable position. I smirked at him and went to go and sit back down in my own chair, but Danni was there already.

“On your feet, lose your seat,” she laughed. I just shrugged and sat on her lap.

“Oof! You’re heavy, Frank!” Dan exclaimed.

“It’s all that talent in there,” I retorted.

Danni snorted, “Yeah right! Talent, my arse!”

I rested my head on her shoulder and batted my eyelashes exaggeratedly, “You love me really.”

“Do I?” Danni looked surprised. I stuck my tongue out at her and she shoved me off her lap. I landed on the floor with a thud. Jamia slipped over the arm of the chair and put an arm around Danni’s neck. She blew me a raspberry then kissed Dan square on the mouth. Danni let out a squawk of surprise before bringing her hands up to cup Jamia’s face. I groaned and buried my head in my hands. Jamia; honestly!

 

I’d only just returned to playing my video game when I was interrupted again.

“Hey, Frank? I need someone to draw…”

“Why don’t you ask your girlfriend?” I retorted, annoyed at not getting a moment’s peace.

“Lyn-Z’s not my girlfriend!” Gerard said indignantly.

“Oh isn’t she,” I teased.

Gerard put both of his hands on his hips, “Frankie, I’m gay. Lyn is not my girlfriend, okay?”

I know Gerard had told me that he loved me but he’d never actually admitted he was gay.

“I know, Gee, I was just teasing,” my voice softened and I hugged him. I couldn’t fool myself anymore; I was head over heels in love with Gerard Arthur Way.


	17. You Only Live Forever In The Lights You Make

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry but I don't think I'm going to write any more of this; it all seems very childish to me now. I love it and I'm proud of it but I don't think I will ever finish it. So I decided to post the parts I have written and bade you farewell.  
> I've changed a lot and this has been in the making for nearly two years and I don't think its going anywhere. This started on a blank Word Document then to an old English copy and filled the front half of two notebooks and the first two pages of a third but in five months I've hardly written any of it so this is the end. I'm not kidding myself that more than two or three people are going to read this but I think Bullet Through A Flock Of Doves (or The Kind Of Human Wreckage That I Love as it was originally called) deserves a send off more than a discontinued fanfiction with sixteen chapters.

Once I’d had the whole I-love-Gerard realisation I wasn’t quite sure what I should do next. For starters I was still going out with Danni, and I think Lyn-Z likes Gee too and I don’t want to start anything; MSI are great.

Luckily it was soon Ray’s birthday which meant I could concentrate on him for a while. As it happened it also fell on a day where we had free time and only one show in a couple of days. I was sat thinking about a new song that was starting in my mind when Bob stuck his head around the door.

“Hey, Frank, we’re all gonna get a move on and Brian said that if we’re early enough at the stadium we can go to the fairground. Whatcha think? Are you up for some swirling cups?”

I flashed him a bright grin, “When have I ever turned down a trip to a fairground?” I leaped up and – giving the room a last look – raced after Bob.


	18. Its Better Off This Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much to Emily for commenting and CalicoCas, blxrryface, Isabunny, Wescottwomen and 14 guests for leaving kudos here.  
> Thank you for the twentyfour votes and to UnspokenWriter_, FamousLastKilljoy, FrnkiBoi and last but by no means least, charcoalskiess (thank you for being my number one fan) for commenting on Wattpad.  
> Also thank you to all my friends and family who put up with me rambling about BTAFOD.

I couldn’t face it anymore; Danni and I weren’t right together. We were better off as friends. I’ve been lying to myself for long enough now that I can’t do it anymore. Now all I need to do is tell Danni. Ha. Like that’s going to be easy. She’ll take chunks out of me. It’ll be awkward too; I mean we’re on tour for at least another month _and_ on the same tour bus. Danni isn’t the kind of girl to take it lying down; she’s a fighter and I think that’s why I fell for her. Who am I kidding; I can’t do this! Oh, but _Gerard_. I have to break up with Danni to be with Gee but I can’t break up with Danni because I love her; I just love Gerard _more_. I _have_ to do it; I can’t put it off any longer and Danni will understand….maybe. Hopefully.

 

“Hey, Danni?” I asked nervously.

“Yeah, Frankie?” she mumbled, barely glancing up from her page.

“Can we talk?”

Danni looked up then, “Sure, sit down why don’t ya? What’s up?”

I swallowed loudly, “Privately.” Dan glanced round at the others.

“Okay. Lead on, lover boy,” she said, standing up.

We walked off the bus and along for a bit without saying a word. My heart was pounding and I was dreading what was to come.

“What’s up, Frankie?” Danni asked, breaking the silence.

I cleared my throat, “You know how we’ve been rocky for a while?” Danni stiffened.

“Frank,” she said carefully, “tell me this isn’t going where I think it’s going?”

“I’m sorry, Dan, but I can’t do this anymore.” Danni started backing away from me so I stepped forward and grasped her hands. “Danni, this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do; I love you but I love Gee _more_. Dan, he’s my best fucking friend and I would die for him, and we just don’t have that.”

Danni gave a sharp laugh, “I should have known it was too good to be true. Thanks for nothing, Iero.”

I reached for her again but this time she walked away. I wanted to go after her but I had a sinking feeling inside me that said I had to let her go.

 

I sloped back to the bus sadly. I know it was me who broke it off but I honestly do love Danni – as much as I love Jamia – and I don’t want her to hate me. I know she’s hurt but I am too,

“What’s wrong, Frankie?” Gee asked as soon as I walked in. I flopped onto the couch next to him, sending his coloured pencils flying.

“Danni and I broke up,” I replied flatly. Gerard’s eyes lit up for a moment but then he cleared his throat.

“Oh really?” he asked carefully, trying unsuccessfully to contain his excitement. “What happened?”

“Frank dumped me,” came an icy tone from the doorway. She stalked past us and into the bunk area. Moments later music started blaring from there. At first it was loud and angry – Bring Me The Horizon at a guess. Gerard and I had to yell to hear each other over the music and all I could make out was “motherfucker” at the top of his lungs, but then the song changed to a young woman’s voice; soft and gentle. Gerard just shrugged and carried on drawing his comic. I growled softly and went over to the TV to shoot some people. I was shocked once again by the song changing – this time it was Green Day. I’m not sure what song it was but there was a lot of “I hate you” s in it. I had just gotten back into killing some zombies – trying to ignore the frequent genre changes of the music – when I was jerked back to reality by a cushion hitting the back of my head. I screwed round to look at the culprit.

I scowled, “What is it, Gee?”

“What’s this song? I like it.”

“I don’t know, Gerard, why don’t you go and ask Danni?”

“She hates me,” he moaned,

“She hates me more!” I retorted.

“She’s scary,” Gee whispered. I couldn’t help but let out a snort of laughter at that.

“Danni, scary? Yeah right!”

Just then Bob and Ray walked in with Christa and Kaitlin in tow.

“What the hell is going on?” Bob yelled over the racket of what seemed to be a scream version of Adele’s Rolling In The Deep. Gerard tore off a piece of his paper and handed it to him. Bob glanced at it, raised one eyebrow and stomped into the bunk area. The sound peaked for a moment as he opened the door then it went silent. I heard a muffled sob before the music started again, a lot quieter than it had been. Gerard glanced at me but I just looked away. I couldn’t face him yet. I jammed my earphones in and listened to The Smashing Pumpkins at top volume wile killing zombies. Sometimes I just need to block the whole world out for a while.


End file.
